“It is twice blest; It blesseth him that gives and him that takes”
William Shakespeare wrote the above lines as part of ‘the quality of mercy’ speech in Merchant of Venice. I observe, there are conversations that also possess the same quality. Today’s issue is an ongoing collection of such conversations with my kids - the ‘twice blest’ conversations. These happened at different times in last two years - you would find the ages mentioned varying accordingly.
On Life
My kids' school uses colored stars to report student's performance in different areas. Gold color: Excellent, Silver: Good, Purple: Fair.
Excerpts of a conversation between my kids:
8 yo: Yay! I am so happy I got all Gold stars in the report.
4 yo: What's there to be happy about, you just got one color. I have got 3 different colors. Mine is better as it is more colorful and looks beautiful!
What a perspective - one should positively take the feedback (rather feedforward). Just like my son's report, life is more colorful and beautiful if you have challenges to work upon! Though, the trick is in choosing the right challenge.
While narrating story of Mahabharata to 4yo:
me: Pandavas were good and Kauravas were bad
8yo (overhears): No Papa, Panadavas were also bad...(mentions 3 instances back to back)
Me (dumbstruck): ...
4yo: Papa you don't know anything...I am going out to play...
Reminder for me…dump the engineering mind that thinks in binary and apply the MBA mind - its never black or white, but always a shade of grey
6 yo: Papa, can we get upgraded?
me: What does upgraded mean to you?
6 yo: The characters in our computer game get upgraded
me: What happens when they get upgraded?
6 yo: They change, become strong
me: Yes, we can also get upgraded
6 yo: How can we get upgraded
me: By learning and doing new things
6 yo: So I cannot be upgraded, as I have a schedule to follow each day. I cannot do new things
me: You can do new things within the schedule, you have a playing schedule - but you can try playing new games
6 yo: Okay. Like we have fixed school schedule but we still learn new topics every day
me: Yes, you got it.
6 yo: Bye, I am going to ride my upgraded bicycle
me (Thinking...)
Thanks son! The conversation did rang the bell - am I following the same old/safer ways of doing things or trying new stuff - experimenting - am I upgrading myself?
On Agility
4 yo: Papa, how do we grow up?
me: Son, you grow up by playing, eating healthy food and learning
4 yo: No Papa, we grow up by celebrating Birthdays!
This chat with my 4 yrs old son reminds me of several interactions I have had with managers when they say we are agile as we follow certain ceremonies like daily stand-ups, retrospectives, demos etc. rather than focusing on the intent - team empowerment, collaboration, and continuously adapting to change...
me (to 6 yo): Why do you always pick only this particular pencil when you have so many others in your box?
6 yo: I pick this one as it is the smallest.
me: Why do you pick the smallest one?
6 yo: Being smallest, it will be the 1st one to finish.
me: Why do you want it to be finished early?
6 yo: So that I can add a new pencil in my box soon!
This conversation reminded me an old lesson on agility - Value is in completing open tasks not starting new ones!
Being Human
me (to 5 yo): Each person is special...and so are you - unique and no one in this world is like you.
5 yo: "Kuch zaada nahi ho gaya"...
me (coughing): ...
How important it is to be at peace with yourself and accept the way you are.
9 yo (reading natural vs man-made resources): Papa, why was everything made by man and no woman made any resources.
me (surprised): Why do you say that?
9 yo: My book says so, its either natural or man-made
me: Aha, man is used by the book used to represent humans and not just man as in males…
9 yo: Oh, I got confused. They should rather write human-made and not man-made
me: I agree son, when you write your exams use human-made instead of man-made
Felt proud of the question my son raised…seems somewhere we are laying the right foundation.
Save your bandwidth from all other activities this weekend and spend it on high signal communications with your kids. These are the communications that are twice blest!
That’s all for this issue of Parsing Thoughts newsletter. If you enjoyed reading, do share with your family and friends.